Some questions are extraordinarily difficult. Who am I? What kind of person am I? Who will I become? Perhaps I will never find complete answers, even over the course of an entire lifetime. Despite having spent more time with myself than anyone else has, I often feel that the more I learn about myself, the more I discover I do not know. I do not think I am an unusually complicated person. Rather, I sometimes feel that I have paid too little attention to myself.
I have no idea where I am going. I do not even know where I stand or how I came to stand here. Perhaps this is simply a common stage that people my age must pass through. Did adults all have clear dreams from childhood, working diligently toward them? When no answers emerge, these questions can feel pointless. Still, should I not at least try? In this essay I will attempt to find an answer to these concerns.
For a long time, I have considered everyday life extremely important. I believe gratitude, the joy of living, and self-understanding become possible only when we engage fully with our daily lives. The everyday matters so much to me because it contains everything that I am. To state my conclusion first, I think nothing is more important than living meaningfully where we have been placed. There is the familiar expression carpe diem: seize the day, enjoy the present. Ever since I first heard it, I have been captivated by it. Perhaps that is because it aligns so closely with the value I place on everyday life. I believe that only by truly practicing carpe diem can we come to know ourselves, discover our paths, and learn to love both.
Have you heard of the principle of pathways? Put simply, it means that even when people pursue the same goal, many different routes are possible, and all those routes can be equally valuable. Each individual can choose the path that suits them. Some paths may be faster or slower, but each is meaningful insofar as it fits the person walking it. To put this principle into practice, we must first understand ourselves, because knowing ourselves helps us recognize our own path. My path is something I make for myself. I must discover it, cultivate it, and walk it. What effort makes that possible? Living each day well. Doing my best wherever I am. Practicing carpe diem. Only then can I begin to find my way. This is incredibly difficult for me, too. I hardly know myself. I do not know where to begin, and the task feels overwhelming. I do not know my path; I barely know what sort of person I am.
Yet I have realized one thing. Even if I have no idea where I am heading or where I will end up, living each day wholeheartedly will teach me something—or at least bring me somewhere. If you want to discover your path, do your best at precisely the place and time in which you now exist. That is what I want to say. It may sound irresponsible, but I am not offering the false comfort that life requires no plans. However uncertain your life seems, however little you know about how to proceed, you can keep asking those questions while also making good use of the time you have. Before long, you will have arrived somewhere. In that sense, the determination to “find my path at all costs” may be unnecessary, even burdensome. If you do not know your path, simply do your best where you are. That may be your path and your way of living. You may not reach the destination you originally intended. But might even that unexpected destination possess a meaning of its own?
These are thoughts I have held for a long time. I have often reflected on how precious my everyday life is and how important it is to live the present fully. I have tried to remain grateful for what I enjoy and to adopt a more active attitude toward life. Sometimes, however, I wonder what any of it means. Will working hard today really change my future? I have often doubted it. There was even a period when I neglected my studies. But having written such an ambitious essay, how can I continue living that way? I will do my best when writing reflections, do my best when playing music, and do my best as I move forward. When I am exhausted, I will do my best at resting, too. The past matters. The future matters just as much. Yet what we must ultimately look toward is this very place, this very moment. I will begin with myself. I will live with all the effort I can muster, and if I turn out to be right, I will return to tell my story. Live in the present, and enjoy it at the same time. I hope I never forget this realization. Carpe diem: from now on, it is my motto.